They’re saying something’s coming. And that we need to be ready. All of us– Theskies arechanging. Maybe it’s for the better, that the fish swims in its pond in the dark of the moon. It’ll allow us all the time needed to find the seeds. That’s what they said we need – – seeds.
A new year approaches, with spring 2 days away.
He asked me, what is one vision that I’m scared of saying aloud. That I’ve kept to myself for comfort when everythng else seems to sht. And I started to wonder…its all very yellow.
this is me taking the first step towards it
i wrote it down before. it was 2024 and we sat around in a circle thinking of our dreams. what makes us ignite. (it didn’t help the facilitator was making my skin ignite every moment he glanced my way.) and i’ve always been scared of that dream.
hah, scared of a dream. it is silly. being scared of being so happy. of having so much love.
i would be so full. life would be so full.
this is what itd be like: everything, so very yellow. i’d have my home. in all of its chaos, it’d be yellow (surprise, surprise). it’d be near the beach, i could smell it. i can smell it.
i’d have lovely neighbors.
with lovely weather.
i’d check the mail later, to receive a handwritten letter from a dear friend.
i nearly forgot. i’d wake up to him. i’d roll into his body and kiss his chest. he’d kiss me good morning. he’d kiss my entire body with his (when we’d have the time. and this moment, we do).
now back to the mailbox. the letter, junk mail, a magazine subscription, an invitation.
my life at this point, i’d have a few books published. poetry and prose.
i’ve won an award, and have done a few readings.
i have an audience.
I am traveling and living life. which i do now, but something about having dinner with friends. the table full of food, and wine and laughter. it feels like love to me. that kind of connection, having that kind of community. being in love with yourself, with life, with him.
it feels so beautiful. so i’m planting the seed. and somehow, i know doing this will make it come true. this is the step i need to take to feel that yellow.
i am planting this seed. and i am trusting that it’ll grow. 🖤
/nā/ v /āt/ 