a possible alternative would be: How Resident Evil Makes Me Miss My Ex. But then, that’s way too wordy. grabs the att. but, that’s not — i am distracting myself from what we’re here for…which is:
but yes, Resident Evil.
but really, my ex-boyfriend.
he was my first love and it was big and it was bright and it was everything they told you it would and should be. and sometimes those big bright beautiful things aren’t meant to last forever. just seasons.
that was a long season of 6 years. we met when i was 20 and we broke up (for the final time) when i was 26. when i left for beijing…
An Even Deeper Thought
if i had stayed…where would we had been…who would i had been? that was such a clear butterfly effect moment…
but where am i getting at? (apologies if you’re reading this and getting utterly annoyed with me, i love you even more) i dunno…it’s crazy to think that was all ten years ago now. And even now, though the wounds have healed and we’ve both grown since then, there are still these morsels left over.
& it’s not something that fades away or we shed like dead skin. it’s like people we love, we have relationships with – there’s a part that merges. and not in the creepy The Thing kind of way … but in a beautiful fated kind of way.
what i’ve gotten from him is a found love for horror video games and letsplayers on youtube. of mma and wwe. and an appreciation for jersy club music.
i don’t know what he’s gotten from me.
but i hope he smiles when he remembers where the morsel came from.
gang. wtf. hah, i dunno where i’ve gone off too (the best way for me to actually do these things the way i want, is if i do it well…this way. it’s my way. mutha snucka. jkjk, ur nice.)
i guess, recognize your morsels. where they came from. who gave them to you. and if they’re still around send ’em a random howdy. easy, this is more or less of how it’ll go:
You: Hey BFF. This is a random howdy!
BFF: Wow! I do sure love me a random howdy. What’s up buddy?
(don’t worry, you’ve got this. it’s your BFF you’re talking to. it shouldn’t be awkward at all)
You: Well, uh, yeah – remember when you showed me Hellraiser a few years back?
BFF: Oh! Hah, that’s flippin’ random. But yeah, sure. Still can’t believe you went that long without seeing a Clive Barker film!
You: I know! But, like it’s one of my favorite things ever now. I kinda watch it daily…
BFF: Oh?
You:…it’s not like I sit down and watch it. But the first one – it’s like background noise to me now. And yeah, what I’m getting at, is like – that’s because of you. I’ll always have a piece of you.
BFF: Hellraiser?
You:…yes. And then some of other Clive Barker’s stuff like Abarat. Did you know he wrote a children’s book? And he’s just really talented. Even an artist! Seriously—
BFF: You?
You: Huh? Sorry, I did the thing.
BFF: But I still love you. You absolute weirdo.
see, it won’t be that bad. how weird can you get? ok that was fun to write.
but here’s some light homework if you’re too lazy (no shame, just making your life easier) to look up one of the most brilliant weirdos we still have around: Clive Barker. if you’re not in the know:
Clive Barker Quick Links:
Hellraiser (his most famous work) is based off his own novella The Hellbound Heart
Wiki Page for Hellbound Heart | 1992 Docu on Clive Barker | Wiki Pg for Abarat
and if you’re a reader and an art lover and you just so happen to find abarat one of the most spectacular pieces of art ever. i’m sorry that they no longer print it and you’ll have to go on a hunt for some used copies. but if you’re only interested in the story, you’ll find a print easy peezy. and if you become a fan, i’m sorry. we’re a weird, passionate bunch and if we meet in the wild, it’s a treat.
(and hey, this may be my morsel i give to you. but don’t be creepy about) xx 🫧
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